What If My Teen Doesn’t Want to Go to Therapy?
It can be frustrating and even scary when you believe your teen needs support but isn’t interested in talking to a therapist. Before assuming that your teen is simply being difficult or doesn’t want help, there are several factors that could be behind their reluctance. For example, your teen might be worried about being judged, uncomfortable talking to a stranger, concerned that a therapist will tell you everything they say, or unsure what the therapeutic process is really like. There’s also some stigma about going to therapy, and teens might think that therapy means something is wrong with them.
Rather than trying to convince your teen that they need therapy, consider giving them some ownership over the process. The biggest way you can do this is by enlisting their help in choosing a therapist to reach out to. You can also talk to your teen about starting the process: attending a first appointment is not a commitment to further sessions. You can help your teen identify some of the things they don’t like about how things are going for them, and it’s possible that they may choose to weather the temporary awkwardness of a therapy intake instead of continuing to engage in the cycles that are no longer working for them. It is important when talking about starting therapy that parents help guide the conversation rather than dictating it. Although you are worried about your teen and really want them to engage, a threat of punishment or consequence may not have the intended effect and can sometimes push teens further away from therapy. If your teen truly refuses to attend therapy at this time, and there are no immediate safety concerns, you can try other approaches to connect with your teen or engage them in other types of support at school or within your community. Some examples of these types of support include talking to their school counselor, signing up for a local class or club, taking them to spend time with extended family members, watching their favorite TV show with them, or volunteering together as a family.
Remember: Building trust with a therapist takes time, and it’s normal for teens to have some difficulty with the first few sessions. A good therapist will help your teen feel welcomed without judgment and give them ample space to feel comfortable. Developing the type of therapeutic rapport that facilitates change can take anywhere from one to several sessions. However, if you or your teen have any concerns about the fit with their therapist, or you notice your teen heavily resistant to sessions after some time, it may be helpful to speak with the therapist about these concerns. Therapy is not one size fits all, and the therapist can either tailor their approach or refer you to a therapist who may have a different style.
When to seek help sooner: Many cases have some wiggle room to allow time for your teen to come around to the idea of therapy. However, if your teen is struggling with severe depression or anxiety that are affecting their ability to complete any daily functions, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse, or any other concerns getting in the way of their safety, don’t wait indefinitely for them to become willing to seek help. In these cases, seek urgent mental health support such as MIND24-7 in Phoenix (or any emergency department/911 for life threatening safety issues). For less urgent concerns, a consultation with a thrapist can be a helpful starting point even if you’re unsure whether your child will agree to participate.
If you’re looking for therapy for your teen in Goodyear, Meadowlight Counseling provides outpatient therapy for teens and young adults. If your teen isn’t sure about therapy, you don’t have to have all the answers before reaching out. Sometimes the first step is just a conversation about what you’re noticing, and exploring the kind of support that might be helpful.